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Excerpts from
A Special
Delivery: Mother-Daughter Letters From Afar
by Joyce Slayton Mitchell & Elizabeth Dix Mitchell
December 26
Coromandel Peninsula, New Zealand
My dearest Mama,
Greetings from way way down under! I
have been thinking so much of you -- wondering where you are, who you're with & what
you're doing. Yesterday was Xmas for us & now it is Xmas for you today. Merry Merry!
I came back up here to the Coromandel Peninsula to spend
Christmas. I love it here so much & have decided to stay a while. I'm staying in a
gorgeous valley by a creek at my friends' house on a 4,000-acre piece of land by the sea.
Nobody around for miles, the creek is bubbling & murmuring, all the wild flowers are
blooming. Lots of birds making all sorts of lovely songs. Quite an amazing heavenly
place.
A friend gave me a van -- I built a bed in it and got a small camp stove & am well-equipped for a good camping adventure. I've been taking some great treks around on the coast. Spending lots of time in the water. It's just the start of summer here. So strange to think that it's winter back in the States! I'm going to make batiks & go to all the summer festivals, Xmas craft shops and such to make some more travel $. I'm doing a booth at a 3-day craft fair up in Colville at the end of the month. I expect to do real well -- it's quite a big event.
So my dearest mama -- I do miss you so very much!! You are such a beautiful, strong, inspiring woman. I am so honored to have you as my mother -- I love you so very much & am forever thankful for your presence in my life. You have taught me so much! Hope all is well with you in the BIG APPLE.
Lots of love, Merry Xmas -
Happy New Year. Elizabeth
January 8
New York City
Dear Elizabeth,
Thank you for your Christmas letter from way way down under!! The Coromandel Peninsula sounds like a wonderful place. I'm glad it's you -- and not me -- out there with the wild flowers and birds and nobody around for miles!
I closed my Hardwick house just before I left for Holland. In the last weekend I was there, I had every breakfast, lunch, and dinner with someone different. I won't see any of them again until May, when I return to Vermont for the summer. But then, I like a cyclic life. I just can't imagine enjoying a place more than I do that home.
I continue to love my work with the seniors going though the college-selection process, teaching them about college decision-making, and then visiting them as freshmen on their campuses. This past fall, I went to a justice class at Harvard, an art history class at Williams, and also looked at every soccer field at Wesleyan with one of our star soccer players.
Happy New Year to my darling daughter. May the promise of life be yours as you feel the grace of this holiday season. Thinking of you with so much love,
Mom
June 14, two years later
Kia Ora Mama!
Last night was the full moon & my two friends Ron & Katrina had their wedding. It was so beautiful -- on the beach next to where I live, then everyone went back to their land for a huge feast, bonfire, live music, good vibes & good people.
I have a new love -- his name is Jimi Tei. We met at the Colville Trade Store, where a mutual friend introduced us. Every time his friend dropped by my house, Jimi was with him! Jimi was born in Rarotonga in the Cook Islands (an independent nation that's a protectorate of N.Z.). He came over here with his mom and brothers and sister when he was little, so he is a New Zealand citizen, but has been back to the Islands since. One of his brothers (he has four brothers and one sister) still lives in Rarotonga, as does his father. Jimi is a fisherman and buys cars at auctions, fixes them, and sells them. He is a Leo like you - born on July 30th. He just moved in with me a few weeks ago. He is a very kind, gentle soul and is very good to me. Not to mention he's beautiful, with nice brown eyes, brown skin, curly black hair -- dreadlocks (just small ones) and a great smile -- definitely of Polynesian stock, very solid and strong. So I hope that's enough details for you!
Sending you all my love and blessings. Aroha. Elizabeth
March 1, the following year
Dearest mama,
I have some very big news so perhaps you should sit down. Can you guess? You are going to
be a grandma!! Jimi & I are having a baby & we are both over the moon.
I've been feeling pretty sick & yucky w/morning sickness. I've already started taking vitamin supplements for pregnancy & reading lots of books about vegetarian nutrition during pregnancy.
It's a little scary, but very exciting. I've wanted to be a mommy & now it's finally happening. I've spent so much time taking care of other people's kids & knowing someday I would have my own. I always wondered who the daddy would be. And now I have the perfect daddy & I can't wait to see who we create.
I can't wait to hear what you think!
Aroha. All my
Elizabeth
March 9
Dear Elizabeth:
I have such mixed feelings about your pregnancy news. First and foremost, I have no doubt that you will be a wonderful, loving, nurturing mother. And I agree, biologically, it's time for you to be a mother, to create a new little life.
My first big concern is your nutrition during pregnancy -- protein and calcium are so important for a healthy baby. Can you get enough of these without meat and dairy? And medically speaking, a midwife, which you have talked so much about these past few years, is fine if there are no complications -- but at 30 years old for the first baby, there often are.
Next, is that "beautiful man" -- in attitude and looks -- that "gentle, sweet Jimi" -- also beautifully responsible? Would he want the mother of his child to be without citizenship (and medical benefits if needed) in his own country? Would he want his child to have just one legal parent, when a child so craves two -- even as an infant? Would he expect the mother of his child to be a foreigner -- without the safety net of support from the government if there were a special need for the child? Or mother? Is he committed to mother and child?
Elizabeth, not marrying when you're pregnant, for whatever reason, is very different in your own county where you have family and government to protect you if there are times when you can't provide for yourself or the baby.
I love the idea of you having a baby -- of being a grandmother to your child. I hate the idea of you being a single mom in a foreign country with no visible means of support. Don't live in a dream world, Elizabeth. Pay attention to your health -- as a pregnant woman -- to marriage, and to New Zealand citizenship and having family around you. Don't wait for a crisis and look back and say, "I didn't understand." Write and tell me how dependable Jimmy is! And send a photo!
I send my love -- you send
me your hope,
Mom
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