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Interview Questions PJ Long, Author Gifts from the Broken Jar
It is about embracing the life you have in this moment, no
matter how imperfect; it’s about healing, appreciating what you’ve got,
living with hope, joy, and a grateful heart. I didn’t know that at first—I
just wrote about whatever was happening around me. But by writing, I was dealing
with the kinds of things we all have to grapple with when we find ourselves in a
hard place, facing an uncertain future.
I didn’t actually set out to write a book. I started writing because it
was part of my rehab, to re-build my mental/cognitive abilities. In fact when
somebody asked me why I wrote the book, my daughter answered, “Because you
couldn’t do anything else.” And
it’s true; there wasn’t anything else I could do at that time.
Initially, my goal was to help others who
have brain injuries. But then I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and was
comforted by the words I had written about life
and healing. That was my first clue that there might be a wider audience
for the book. And now I’ve heard from hundreds of people—young and old;
healthy, ill, and injured; devout and nonbelievers; male and female—who have
been deeply affected by it, and each person finds something different that’s
particularly meaningful for them.
This book helps people remember the important things in life. It
gives you a way to reflect on your own life, to re-discover common virtues, and
take time to appreciate the relationships that sustain you. If a reader
knows someone who has suffered a brain injury or stroke or is living with a
chronic illness or a disabling condition, this book will help them to understand
better what that person may be experiencing and may not be able to explain. And
if a reader has suffered their own loss, they’ll find comfort and hope.
The title comes from a story told in
India, about a boy who carried water to a rich man each day in two jars—a full
jar in one hand but only half-full in the other, because that jar was cracked
and water leaked out along the way. Even though the broken jar meant that the
boy worked harder and earned less money, he saw that it also made his life
beautiful. On one side of his path, the ground was dry and dusty. But the other
side, where the water had fallen, was strewn with wildflowers.
My injury has forced me to slow down, and
to simplify. For example, I didn’t have enough energy to work on my gardens.
So I started to just sit and look, and I began to see beautiful images that
I’d never noticed before. I now take photos and turn them into note cards that
I send out. I have to pace myself because I tire easily, so now I focus on
what’s most important. One unexpected benefit of my injury is that my husband
and I don’t argue much, because it takes me too long to process what he’s
saying and find a comeback!
My husband was patient and forgiving. As a physician, he’d had a lot of
practice accompanying people through the hard places in life. Of course, he had
moments of frustration, too, like when he had to explain the same thing many
times before I could understand it. My children’s humor and their busy lives
gave me a focus outside myself. But
it also was hard. My daughter kept asking, “When will you be like our real
mama again?” And once I was able to understand that question, it broke my
heart. I wanted nothing more than to be a “real mama” again.
First, unlike our stomachs or knees, each
brain is different even before an
injury. And every brain injury is
different. Many people have difficulty with speech or cognition. Some lose parts
of their muscle function. And some experience personality changes and mood
swings. Tragically, that often leads to divorce or the loss of other close
relationships.
One of the worst things for me was the loneliness and isolation. I had a friend who would come over and just sit quietly with me—I was incapable of conversation. Just having her there did great things for my soul. Food is a wonderful gift. The sensual pleasures of smell and taste are heightened when some of your other abilities have failed. You might even organize a group of people to take turns delivering meals to the family of someone who is ill or injured. And when someone is hurt or ailing, send them a note. It’s something tangible that they can hold, read, and look at over and over. It makes a huge difference to know that someone is holding you in their thoughts. |
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